FEAR

IMPERVIOUS TO ALL TALK OF PANDEMICS.

I have been cautious, anxious, sometimes worried. I’ve had moments of fear when I feel at all unwell. But the virus hasn’t really terrified me personally. NOW. I. AM. SCARED. I am afraid it will get me the week or the day or the hour before my vaccine is available. Silly. I’m doing everything I should…just keep on being careful…it will be fine…I say.

I am trying to analyze this burst of anxiety and it is not so very surprising. It’s that light at the end of the damn tunnel, isn’t it? I’m writing again. My job may well be back eventually. Travel going on the calendar. And all I can think is please do not let me screw up now. It would be so very annoying to die with the world on the way to better…

Okay. There. I’ve said it. Already I’m less afraid. I’m watching “Mystery Road” on Acorn and my friend dropped off a piece of Clementine cake made with almond flour. And I’ve been writing all day. Life really is worth living so please do not breathe on me.

What is it they say about darkness and dawn?

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