I really really want to live for quite awhile longer. To paraphrase Dylan Thomas, I intend to ‘not go gentle into that good night.’ (Do not go gentle into that good night/Old age should burn and rave at close of day/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light.)
Which is just to say, I spend half my time feeling positive and powerful and the other half hiding under my bed (figuratively!).
Today, Day 17 since we closed North Fourth (our lively and lovely art school and theater), Day 16 since I went into relatively strict personal isolation, and Day One of ever more rigid hermiting (the San Francisco version).
I woke up this morning and realized I could not continue without a long-range plan. After all I just ordered a 2021 calendar/journal—but what about until then? So I spent the first hour/first coffee saving my world. I projected a North Fourth life after the North Fourth life we currently know. I projected handing over a completed draft of The Book to someone for a final edit. I projected me climbing Black Mountain next April.
Then I had a shot of Limoncello. If I drink anything alcoholic in the afternoon or evening my stomach hurts all night. But I haven’t tried a morning liqueur before…seems fine!
Then I organized my daily priorities on a giant neon-pink post-it. #1: Stay Alive.
Then I enjoyed what a granddaughter told me last night: She said “You know there are a lot of memes out there with pictures of Ruth Ginsberg, saying ‘please please don’t die/we need you.'” And, she said, ‘that’s the way I feel about you.’ It’s possible that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! Almost makes me wish I’d saved some valuables to leave her in the will…nah, that would have interfered with traveling…
Then I had another (small) shot of Limoncello and played ‘We Shall Overcome’ and Dylan.
Then I read my new Dept. Q novel for awhile.
And THEN, I got busy and had a productive day of writing, a little work-work, and figuring out how to get meds and groceries without breathing on or being breathed on by anyone. (If you have ‘Buffs’ wear them around your neck and then pull them up before walking into the pharmacy [you’ll look like a hiking/cycling bandit] and have your groceries delivered by Amazon [Jeff needs the money]).
Day One of April is almost over and we are mostly fine. BE CAREFUL.