DEAR EVERYONE. HOW ARE YOU? I AM FINE. Well actually, I am nervous and sad. Oh yeah…and I’m dealing with an enormous theft—a year or two stolen from the few years I can remain fully engaged in the world. Other than that…
And you? From what I know of what you’re doing—email, facebook, zoom, messenger, text, phone and even an occasional card—you, my family and friends, are generally okay.
We’re all so done with this aren’t we? The coronavirus and the cop-violence. Being ashamed of our country. Wearing a mask. What about jobs and travel and rain…will there ever ever ever be another rainy day?
I always feel like I should acknowledge how much better off I am, we are, than so many around the world. I should. And do. `
It’s just that the mental health toll of all of this uncertainty and anxiety is present…and not pleasant. So in spite of perhaps being perceived as whiny…I’ll whine a moment. And since we all know that misery loves company, maybe you’re experiencing some of these symptoms also?
For example, a typical day begins when I wake up, usually way too early—between 3 and 5am—feeling sad, even hopeless, and usually nauseated…the latter inexplicable. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that, by the time I’m up a short time and drinking of the magic potion known as coffee, I am almost always fine…feeling healthy, optimistic, energetic. Honestly, it is amazing.
But then the day goes on. Small disappointments, awkward masked meetings, annoying zooms, more bad news, the sun glares, DT is still alive and my optimism fades…but only rarely does it disappear altogether.
So, we scheme about how to keep the thief from stealing chunks of our time and possibilities. My last vigorous years, my granddaughters’ next birthdays (C-19 already stole the 21st and 30th celebrations), our jobs, our trips…and of course, especially, our lives.
How to lock the door against thievery more securely. Therapy? Denial? Drugs? One foot ahead of the other—yeah, that’s the one.